Professional athletes say a lot of dumb things when a microphone is stuck in front of their face.
The entire City of Baltimore might argue that Matt Palmer might say dumb things about Colts quarterbacks when a keyboard is placed in front of his fingers. Let?s move past it, shall we?
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In the annals of dumb athletes, there are some true, shining stars. Some have tried very hard to pave the road for idiots everywhere. It?s not a popular road, but to borrow a phrase from a famous series of beer commercials: Here?s to you, Mr. Not Very Intelligent Athlete.
Sans a cheesy Joan Rivers breakdown, I present to you the first ever Dullard Awards.
Former baseball reliever John Rocker became a superstar of idiocy several years ago when he sounded off on diversity like Archie Bunker could only dream about. Xenophobia is a sure path to a Stupidity Hall of Fame citation, and Rocker turned it into an art form. He earns the first-ever Lifetime Achievement Award.
Then there is Kellen Winslow, who apparently likes the taste of leather since his foot is in his mouth so much. Last week, he went off on his Cleveland Browns coaches for being too conservative.
Winslow, if you will remember back to his days at the University of Miami, bragged about being a “[expletive] soldier.”
Winslow has, in a very short time, become one of our most promising dumb guys. For that, Kellen, you get the Rising Star Award. We look forward to all the new ways you?ll show us your lack of sensibility.
But we are here today to present the Man of the Year Award to a player who is continually making stupidity advances in locker rooms throughout the country. He is the Einstein of the unintelligent.
Ladies and gentleman, I give you New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey.
If this were on TV right now, we?d be watching a montage of various Shockey clips set to Bette Midler?s “Wind Beneath My Wings.” It?s mind-boggling how a guy can come back time and time again and say new things that make you go, “Wow!”
Several years ago, Shockey appeared on the Howard Stern show to offer up comments about homosexuals. In an interview with New York magazine three years ago, he called Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells a “homo.”
In a loss to Seattle last year, Shockey mistakenly thought his team had won and pointed to a video camera. Meanwhile, the other team was scoring the winning points as the camera caught him in the embarrassing act of celebration.
This week, he said his team was “outcoached” following a loss to the Seahawks. Never mind that the Giants were getting manhandled for most of the game ? it was all Tom Coughlin?s fault.
Maybe it?s just the Seahawks that bring out the dumbest in Shockey. Either way, here?s to you, our Dullard Awards Man of the Year.
