DAN: So now there?s a Web site that just cuts to the chase-around-the-bedroom as it is solely based on physical appearance only. Like Borat might say, “only in America” where we have made superficiality the cornerstone of our glorious capitalist society. This is a wonderful idea because it deposits all the 2-D, empty souls together in one place so we know where to avoid them.
JOAN: I love this. The founder of HotEnough.org, the online dating service that only accepts “lookers” who rate a score of 8.5 to 10 says, “Do you really care what the last book was that someone read?” Though I have to be physically attracted to a man I?m dating, I place kindness, intelligence and values above looks.
DAN: Well, if my date?s favorite book is “Mein Kampf,” heck YEAH, I care about what she?s reading. As for you, you?re being naïve. The kindness, intelligence and values mean nothing without the chemistry. These traits, which are so endearing in one with whom you are physically enamored, are downright embarrassing if you don?t. What makes this Web site so objectionable is it makes the argument that all that other stuff (he remembers birthdays; she isn?t a leech on his soul) do not matter AT ALL.
JOAN: This site might appeal more to singles in their 20s and early 30s. Take Merrill Bender, 29, a sales executive in Baltimore, who thinks the concept of HotEnough is great. “My experience with Internet dating has been most men are not honest about their looks and they tend to be overly confident regarding their appearance. So either their pictures look nothing like they do in person or they?re really outdated. Men don?t seem to think that matters. If I have more attractive people to pick from, then it gives me more options. And if men turn out to be vain or arrogant, I just wouldn?t date them.”
DAN: Now you?ve graduated from naïve to comatose, for in the world of what we see in the mirror, men and women achieve true equality ? we both “tend to be overly confident” regarding our appearance. Or perhaps more accurately put, more DELUDED. Since no one in this country ever wants to tell anyone the pure, unadulterated truth, girlfriends tell Ugly Betty she?s got “down to earth good looks” and poor Ernest-Borgnine-in-Marty?s been told forever by his Mom that real women really do appreciate a good combover. Bottomline, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
JOAN: Who says I agree with Ms. Bender? As I?ve matured (you should try it), looks are less important. And unlike you, I?m not sending my photo to this you-have-to-be-a-10 Web site. I don?t need a Web site to find my dates. I find them while I?m out enjoying my life.
DAN: Of course you do, because you?re a WOMAN. When it comes to seeking out companionship, men are starving souls, seeking sustenance wherever they can find it. Women are like casual shoppers; if they find a bargain, they?ll buy it, otherwise, they?re content just to browse. It?s always easier for women to find men than vice versa. And if you don?t agree, I say let?s tackle this question next week.
Dan Collins is a terminally single 40-something writer and local PR maven. Joan Allen is a noted matchmaker extraordinaire and author of “Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.”
