At long last, Beltway comeuppance for the Health Nazis! Two years ago, the Center for Science in the Public Interest gave us the scare that rocked Reddenbacher by claiming “theater popcorn ought to be the Snow White of snacks, but instead it’s the Godzilla.” Having since done similar takeouts on nearly everything that can be ingested, the Center had us believing at the time that our fatty hearts were about to stop beating in our greasy chest cavities, because a medium bag of buttered popcorn had the same artery- clogging potential as a bacon-and-eggs breakfast, steak dinner, and Big Mac and large fries combined. Well, now a popcorn bill has come down the pike. And it’s just what all nonprofiteer scare-scientists want, right? Wrong.
The new farm bill, recently signed into law by the president, actually features a paragraph on the stuff. “Popcorn,” it states, “is an important food that is a valuable part of the human diet.” Better still, it “plays a significant role in the economy of the United States” and therefore “must be of high quality, readily available, handled properly and marketed efficiently to ensure that the benefits of popcorn are available to the people of the United States.” Said marketing will be enforced by a “Popcorn Board that shall consist of not fewer than 4 members and not more than 9 members.”
Of the bill, the popcorn-hating Michael Jacobson of the Center for Science in the Public Interest says, “It’s an idiotic provision. It’s ridiculous that Congress is carrying water for popcorn farmers when there are so many other important things to worry about.” Like how chimichangas are clogging up our arteries.
